AUGUST 28 - SEPTEMBER 3, 1999
SEPTEMBER 3, 1999
The Conspiracy Theory
Imagine how I felt when I heard frantic knocking on my front door at 2:45 A.M. this
morning. How would you feel?
Waken from a sound sleep I cautiously went to the door. I turned on the outside lights
to see who it was. I was relieved and then irritated to find Cornplanter and Red Jacket
standing there. Red Jacket was holding today's Bradford Era. I opened the door to
the two men.
"What do you want at this hour?" I asked.
"Look at this!" Red Jacket said holding up the paper.
"Look at what?" I asked. "I don't have my reading glasses. Tell me what
it says. What have I been accused of doing, or not doing, now?"
"Not you," Cornplanter said. "It's about the SPCA."
"What?" I asked. "Has the Alliance finally made its move? Has Hauser
started the furnaces? What's this about?"
"Look!" Red Jacket insisted. "Read it for yourself."
He wasn't going to let up so I got my glasses. I asked them to come into the house but
they wanted to stay on the front porch. "We don't want to wake anyone up,"
Cornplanter said.
"What?" I asked. "What about me? Couldn't this have waited until
morning? And where did you get a Bradford Era at two in the morning?"
"We stole it off the loading dock," Red Jacket said proudly. "I never
pay for The Bradford Era. I steal it. It isn't worth any fifty cents."
I shook my head and took the paper. I read the headline by Sandra Rhodes: "It's
raining cats and dogs at the McKean County SPCA."
"See what I mean!" Red Jacket said. "It's starting."
I shook my head and continued to read.
"As of Thursday, the shelter had 72 dogs and puppies and 92
cats and kittens in house. "We're right at maximum capacity," said shelter
manager Heidi Allen, adding this is not unusual for this time of year. "We really
don't have much room for anything else."
"So?" I asked. "What's the big deal. They have a whole lot of dogs and
cats."
"What's the big deal?" he exclaimed. "What's the big deal! It's
starting. Just as you said. It's starting."
"What's starting?" I asked.
"The conspiracy," Red Jacket said. "The conspiracy to take over the
county by the Bradford Area Alliance."
I knew he was right about the Alliance trying to control all aspects of local and
county government. They had been trying to do that for a long time. People have just been
oblivious to the fact. But I failed to see the connection between that and the SPCA.
"What are you talking about?" I asked. "What's that got to do with
having too many cats and dogs?"
"Why you wrote about it!" he said. "What's the matter with you?
Everything you've said is coming true. You're right!"
I couldn't believe what I was hearing. He had taken the piece I wrote about the
Alliance moving on the management of the SPCA at face value. He believed it!
"I was kidding about that," I said. "That was a spoof. I was making fun
of the twelve rich guys playing like they were some elite brain trust that knew what was
best for the rest of us. It was poking fun at them for their arrogance."
"It may have started out that way, but these people are for real and if you said
that they hated mixed breed dogs and hated all cats, you don't need a skyscraper to fall
on you to see what is coming. No sir. I can see that what you wrote is exactly what is
going to happen. Chris Hauser is going to tie this into the development of Route 219. If
you don't go along with getting rid of cats and mixed breed dogs, then you are labeled as
being anti-development."
"That's absurd," I said. "I was kidding."
"I don't want to hear that again," Red Jacket said to me. "You wrote it
now you live by it."
I wanted to insist that it was a joke, but the tone of his voice told me that I wasn't
going to get anywhere. Instead I took a different direction.
"What do you want me to do?" I asked.
"Why expose them," he said, shocked that I would even ask him.
"That's what you do best. Everyone says it. There isn't a person that I meet that
doesn't say that they have to keep you in Smethport. They say that because they never knew
what was going on over there until you started telling them. A lot of them don't like you,
but they trust you and what you say."
"Thanks," I said sarcastically.
"That's alright," Red Jacket said. "You need to know what people are
saying about you. They are really up in arms about this cat thing and how Hauser hates
them so much. They are really mad about that, and I don't blame them either. Cats have
never done nothing except catch mice and meow a little. I like them and I like mixed breed
dogs, too. That Hauser guy needs to get a life."
I shook my head.
"Okay," I said. "Let me get back to sleep and I'll get started first
thing in the morning."
"Good," he said. "I knew you would see it my way."
With that they left. I went back to bed, careful not to wake Sharyn, but I did anyway.
"What's wrong?" she asked still half asleep.
"Red Jacket's upset about the Bradford Area Alliance and the SPCA," I told
her.
"That's nice," she said.
She fell back to sleep instantly. I laid there staring at the ceiling sorry I ever
started the whole thing. Oh well. Your comments are welcome at rdhedbud@penn.com.
SEPTEMBER 2, 1999
Seneca Penicillin
Yesterday was an eventful day. Right around 9 A.M. Kimberly, our daughter, gave
birth to Samuel Krisjohn Holt - Sam to us.
Sam
Holt: Born September 1, 1999
That happened while we were busy nursing Aunt Rose through one of those nasty summer
colds. Doctor Kirsch came through for us and gave her some of those super antibiotics and
we saw a difference immediately. However, through it all, I was occupied with my two
advisors offering their bits of wisdom. It started early.
Red Jacket and Cornplanter came by around five yesterday evening. Cornplanter was
carrying a Tupperware container with what looked like soup
"What's that?" I asked.
"Turkey buzzard noodle soup," they both answered in unison.
"It's Seneca Penicillin," Red Jacket said. "We heard that Rosie has
a cold so we made this today. It's fresh."
"I'm sure it is," I said.
"It's full of herbs and roots that we picked and dug. There's even some Joe
Pie Weed in it to control fever, just in case. I like it in my soup. It cools me down and
it has a bitter taste that soothes my throat. Reminds me of my mother when she used to
cook for me."
"Your mother?" I said. "Where is she?" I asked.
"Why dead, of course," Red Jacket answered. "No one lives forever,
Bud," he said to me sounding shocked. "She lived a good life and died when she
was one hundred and four. She saw a lot of things happen and change in her life," he
said reminiscing. "She saw the French come and go. She saw the British come and go.
And, she saw the Yankees come and stay. She always liked the French best."
I agreed with him.
Cornplanter, in the meantime, went into the house and began rattling around in my
kitchen with the pots and pans. Before I knew it the soup was in a sauce pan and was
heating.
Red Jacket joined Cornplanter in the kitchen and began adding salt and pepper.
"This is one good thing you white people have been able to master," he
said to me. "Spices! They are wonderful. You can measure accurately and you can make
your dishes the same time after time. If you only knew how many arguments and fights
started because our wives couldn't be consistent with the flavoring of food. One year the
leaks were hot and the onions sweet. The next year it was the opposite. This is the one
good thing you've been able to do. Consistent spices!"
Cornplanter laughed. "If it wasn't for me making him go in the woods all the
time he would weigh a ton. He loves to eat and now that he's discovered Pizza, he won't
eat anything else."
"Pizza?" I asked.
"Yes," Cornplanter said. "Didn't you know he liked Pizza?"
"No," I admitted. "This is the first I've heard of it."
"He hasn't wanted to hurt your feelings, but he is upset that you don't have Pizza
on the menu at the Rainbow Inn."
"That's right," Red Jacket said. "I've talked to Anita about it. All you
have are those Pizza sticks. They aren't like sitting down and eating a whole pie of
pizza. Nothing is like that! Murphy's Law has good pizza. I like it there; but the best is
the pizza at the Corner Bar. Dianne makes a good pizza and she's kind of cute. I've wanted
to ask her out on a date but she's off and on again with that lawyer friend of yours.
What's his name?"
"Greg Henry," I said.
"Yes. That's him. He was the one who came up when they were going to take the
hummingbirds away. Are they on good terms or bad terms these days?" he asked.
"Who can keep track?" I said.
Cornplanter laughed. "The way they fight they should be married," he said.
Red Jacket laughed. I kept quiet. I knew better. About that time the soup came to a
boil.
"It's done," Red Jacket said. "Serve this now. Aunt Rosie will love
it. Just don't tell her what's in it. Women are funny when you tell them the soup is made
with turkey buzzard breasts. Something about it. Men don't mind. It's the women. They are
revolted by the idea."
I did as I was told. Aunt Rose loved it.
"This is delicious, darling," she said to me. "This is simply
delicious. My Uncle Chris used to make a soup that tasted like this. He got the recipe
from some Indians when he was building the Panama Canal. I believe he used buzzard
breasts. The thought of it doesn't sound appetizing. The soup is very good though and its
good for you. This is exactly what I needed. How did you know?"
I shook my head. Aunt Rose at ninety-four was as amazing as Red Jacket at two
hundred and sixty-five.
"I believe it has some Joe Pie Weed in it, too. Uncle Chris used to go up to
the Catskills every August and gather it. He kept an ample supply of that around. Mamma
used to get it from him when Pappa got colds and fevers. It is a wonder drug you
know."
Between sentences, Aunt Rose ate all the soup. Then she asked for seconds. Red
Jacket was right there. He took her bowl and filled it.
"Harold," she said. "That man who is waiting on me. I know him. He's
that Indian who wants me to go on a date with him. Isn't he?"
"Yes, Aunt Rose," I said. "That's him."
"He's a nice man. He's just a little old for me. I prefer younger men. I have
been trying to let him down easy."
I shook my head. Nothing has surprised me since my aunt came to live with us. Now
that Cornplanter and Red Jacket have been hanging around, I am beyond being surprised. I
just take it all in stride. Life can be funny and it usually is.
Cornplanter said his good-byes. "We have to run," he said.
"Where are you going?" I asked.
"We are going out for beer and pizza with a new professor down at Pitt."
"A new professor?" I asked. "What's this all about?"
"Red Jacket is auditing a Political Science course this fall. He likes the
teacher. He just moved here from Arizona and knows some of our friends who are Apaches and
living there. His name is Steve Robar. Doctor Steve Robar."
"Doctor Steve!" Red Jacket exclaimed ending his conversation with Aunt
Rose. "He's a great guy. He likes pizza, too."
I shook my head as the two left. Seneca Penicillin and Political Science courses
all in the same day. And a grandson on top of all of that, too. Oh well. Each day is a new
experience.
Comments are welcome at rdhedbud@penn.com.
SEPTEMBER 1, 1999
Stalag BAHS
This morning's Bradford Era highlights new and improved security measures
for the school year. "School opens with an eye toward security" By KIMBERLY
WEINBERG/ Era Reporter, was the headline. It highlights a new program that includes
identification badges, locked doors, and several other measures. It sure sounds great.
This is what one of the students feels about it.
"I
was pointed in your direction by the Robert Redford of tree trimming. I'll just let
you read my letter to the editor to hear what I have to say. I've heard you have a
way with people.
"The first day of school did not go too bad, but today I learned about the
school's proposition to have all students wear the ID tags on the outside of their
clothing.
"Why don't we just have them in our pockets? Wearing ID tags will in no way
prevent shootings or bombings. The students have done the shooting in the other incidents.
Just because someone has their picture on them doesn't make them innocent or weapon free.
How much of the peoples' tax money went into this project?
"I don't know if anyone has noticed, but we don't have much of a track left. If we
don't get one by this spring then that is going to force us into only competing in away
meets. Also minute changes were made in the original blueprints of the renovation due to
financial problems. Where did this money go to? To the mighty tag machine?
"Maybe this money should be pointed more toward that direction. I';m sure we could
find a much better use for this money then to have all our mug shots on file. About the
best thing the tags would be good for would be to identify bodies after the chaos.
"I haven't seen anything in the media about this either. Why not? Shouldn't the
general public know about this? The idea to keep book bags in lockers during school
lockers is a suitable idea. It would make hiding weapons and bombs a little harder.
Another good idea that the school administration had was to lock the doors from 8am till
school is done. That to me is good security."
This letter came signed. The student said they sent this to the newspaper. They can
print his name. I don't need to cause him unnecessary repercussions by having his name
linked to me. I did answer him.
"Thank you for sharing your letter with me.
"I agree with you. You need to understand that the proposition is not designed to
change anything. It is an attempt to classify and control you in a way similar to George
Orwell's 1984. Have you read it? If you haven't you should!
"The doors should always have been locked. Students should never have been allowed
free access in an out of school. That is the absurdity that my generation brought to
education.
"The school shootings came about because young people are outraged. They are
because they perceive that no one really cares about them anymore. It starts in their home
with their parents leading their own lives and oblivious to the actions of their children.
It continues in school with teachers worrying about things other than teaching and molding
children. It is no longer a profession. It is just a job.
"Attention, good or bad, is what they want. ID's are may or may not serve a
purpose beyond being something else you can lose. Over all I believe it will prove to be a
bunch of crap. Thank you for writing and your insight into the matter.
Harold Beck
"Say hi to the Robert Redford of tree trimming for me."
It was not my intention to dwell on the opening of school. Red Jacket and Cornplanter
have been active and The Bradford Hotel remains a hotbed of political controversy. Maybe
we can deal with them tomorrow.
Your comments are welcome at rdhedbud@penn.com.
AUGUST 31, 1999
A letter to Cheri
If I was of the mind to do so, seeing how this is the first day of school in the
Bradford Area School District, I might write a letter like this to Ms. Maureen O'Mara,
Superintendent of Schools.
Dear Cheri:
When I turned on my computer this morning I check the newest web site for our area
and the world. It was the new ERA on-line, www.bradfordera.com.
Today's headline was: "District shows off high school renovations."
Two things, Cheri, are of interest to me. The first has nothing to do with you. It
deals with The Era and how I can now read it on-line. I don't have to have Red
Jacket steal it for me anymore. (That, Cheri, is an inside joke for the people who read me
everyday.) Instead, when I wake up, I know what the lead story is. That gives me a chance
to respond on the same day. I no longer have to wait and write my cleaver little pieces
long after the story is stale.
Imitation is the most sincere form of flattery and I gladly accept the compliment and
welcome The Era aboard, so to speak.
Second, Cheri, is the symbolic passing of the keys and the next paragraph.
Kimberly Weinberg's reporting described it so well:
"Other elements of the ceremony were a key passing, in which a symbolic
key to the school was passed from general contractor Carl Swanson and Sons to board
representatives Paul Ridley and Mary Ellen Eddy.
"O'Mara and Casey cut a ribbon to re-open the school, and representatives of Life and
Independence for Today presented the district with a certificate of thanks for making its
buildings more accessible to the disabled."
Something about that struck me a little funny, Cheri. Do you know what I'm talking
about? Do you know what I mean?
Have you ever tasted food that was bad?
I'm not talking about food that has just begun to turn. I'm not talking about food that
has mold or fungus growing on it. No, Cheri. I'm talking about food that has turned to
poison and will certainly make you sick. Food that could kill you. That's the food I'm
talking about.
A long time ago when I was in the service I had food like that. You know what? I've
never forgotten the experience. I never have for a few reasons.
First and foremost, I got deathly ill. Oh was I ever sick! I wouldn't wish that on
anyone. No, Cheri, it wasn't a very wonderful experience. But you know what else, Cheri?
You know what really sticks in my mind about the whole experience?
Oddly enough, when I was eating the food, it really tasted good. That's right! It
tasted so good I took seconds. It was in fact delicious and as I began to become sick I
could still savor how much I had enjoyed the meal. Don't you think that is odd? Imagine
poison that could kill you tasting so good.
The passing of the keys was very symbolic. It's your baby now and you have a nice
shining palace in which you can continue the same old stuff. How much did you spend? Was
it $36 million or thereabouts? That's a whole lot of money, Cheri. That's a passel of
money.
Tell me, Cheri. Spending all that money like you did; how do you justify cutting
corners on the asbestos removal?
It seems that everything I said and everything that Dave and Clint said was all
verified by the Electrical Contractor after the fact, after the job was done, on
a June Saturday in a front page story in The Bradford Era. You never
commented on what he said. Why not Cheri? Why didn't you comment? Why didn't you accuse
him of having his own agenda? Why were you so quiet for once?
It was very appropriate that you had our Senator Slocum in attendance as one of
your dignitaries and guests of honor. Yes it was.
Think about it. The Sludge King and the Asbestos Queen together at the same
ceremony!
Slocum, now under Federal Indictment in a case where there is already one guilty
plea for dumping raw sewage into the Brokenstraw Creek (which feeds directly into the
Allegheny River), there as an honored and invited guest. Did you do that to draw attention
away from you?
Tell me Cheri. Did you look into the faces of those kids and their parents? I'm
sure you said how wonderful it all was. I'm sure they said it, too. What did you think
though? Did you wonder if that child was one of the ones who breathed the asbestos that
the electrical contractor said had been removed without using proper containment? Was that
one of the ones who breathed the asbestos that was covered with cerran wrap? Was that
child in the locker room we showed in the movie? Did you think about that?
Now that you have your newly refurbished school, what now, Cheri? Do we pretend
that it never happened? Do we pretend that you did everything you were supposed to do? Do
we forget about the kids who were exposed?
Twenty, thirty years from now, what's going to happen to those kids? Where will we
be? Will we even be around? But what about them? What about them when they start
developing the symptoms?
Food poisoning happens fast. I knew I was sick in a matter of hours. What about
those kids? They won't know for years. What about them, Cheri? Do you think about them? Do
you think you will ever think about them?
What was this all about? What was it for? Was all this necessary? Why the kids? Why
Cheri? Why?
Is this supposed to be a monument to you, Cheri? Is this what it was all about?
Monuments? There are monuments in grave yards, Cheri. Twenty, thirty years from now, if we
are around, will we think it was worth it? What about the kids who will be adults with
families and lives of their own? Will they think it was worth it?
I can't answer these questions for you, Cheri. Only you can answer them. If I was a
smart politician I never would have asked them. But that doesn't matter to me, Cheri. You
never understood that. It doesn't matter. Only the kids matter, Cheri. It seems to me you
forgot that somewhere along the way.
Sincerely,
Harold T. Beck (You know, Bud)
SPECIAL! SPECIAL!
Hi Bud,
Bradford Online has set up a fund to aid Bradford area flood victims. Like you, we have
had several inquiries as to where people who want to help can send donations. All
donations will be turned over to the Red Cross as they seem to be doing more than anyone
else to work directly with the families hit hardest by the flood. I spoke with their
director, Greg Ulyan and he guarantees all money will stay here in Bradford. Here is the
message I posted on
http://bradford-online.com
FLOOD RELIEF '99
On August 20, 1999 Bradford was
hit with its worst flooding since 1947.
Most people in the area didn't have flood insurance, or because of insurance loopholes,
those who were insured still aren't getting much help.
Many of you have written to Bradford Online asking how you can help. Because of you,
Bradford Online has set up a fund, "Flood Relief '99" to help area families
rebuild. All donations will go to the Red Cross and be used for local flood relief.
If you would like to make a contribution to rebuilding Bradford, please make your check
payable to "Flood Relief '99" and drop it off or send it to:
Flood Relief '99
c/o Warner Burgess Computer Services
1 Main Street
Bradford, PA 16701
We will be posting a thank-you page to name the donors, so if you would like to make
your contribution in someone's name, or you wish to remain anonymous please specify that.
Thank you to all who have expressed a wish to help.
I would appreciate it if you could pass this
information along to your readers.
Joe
AUGUST 30, 1999
Not the Alliance!
Good morning. That old familiar chill is in the air. We all know what is on the
way. Fall!
Now that Governor Ridge has declared the Bradford area a Disaster Area and last
Thursday has written to the President (I did it on Monday) asking for a Federal
declaration, all we can do now is wait. Any form of Federal Funding would be very welcome.
The residents are already way over taxed and can not afford to support the rebuilding
effort. Federal monies are a necessity, even if they only help out the municipal
governments.
What to do about those who suffered individual losses and don't have the where withal
to come back?
Surprisingly enough, maybe not so surprising, since I published last Monday's
column, offers of financial help have come. The e-mail messages I received yesterday
typify the offers.
Message - Mr. Beck, I would like to donate money to help the woman you wrote
about in your column. I believe her name was Mary. I would like to buy her a new furnace.
Could you direct me to her personally, or place me in touch with an agency who could
direct the money to her for that purpose? Your help would be greatly appreciated. God
Bless you for the fine work you are doing.
Message - I live in Erie and read your column several times a week. Your
account of the storm that hit Bradford hit me where I live. I was a victim of the
flooding in Altoona years ago and my whole life changed. I lost nearly everything and had
no insurance. I left the area and relocated. I would like to help. Please tell me
how and where I can send a donation.
Message - I am an old time Bradfordian. I read with great interest the local
goings on in your daily editorial page. The flood was a terrible disaster and I want to
know where I can send some money to help out. Would you please publish that information?
Thank you and God Bless you for the fine work you are doing.
Message - Just a note something you may be able to shed some light on. I was
reading on the Bradford on-line site and the forum, there are parties out there willing to
donate monies to the families in need here from across the country but whom would they
send this to and whom would administrate these monies. Thank you. oh a side note - love
the editorials keep um coming. You have my vote as you always have.
The messages began last week and continue to come in to me. I the case of the
person who wanted to help Mary (not her real name by the way) I put them in touch directly
after Mary gave me her permission. But there are other people out there who want to help.
Where do they make contributions? What if they want to direct money to a specific party
like the case of Mary?
The Bradford Era has historically done a fine job in many charitable
endeavors. I would like to see them pick this project up and help the people who do not
have the financial legs to come back from their losses.
I spoke with Marty Robacker Wilder last Tuesday. She asked what she could do to help.
This is it.
Act as the clearing house for these donations. Advertise for additional donations. It
probably hasn't dawned on many people that their neighbors need their help. Unless you
were personally affected (and many of us were not) you have no idea of what these people
are experiencing.
Your comments and opinions are welcome at rdhedbud@penn.com.
AUGUST 28 & 29, 1999
Bradford Waterfront Slated For Development
Publisher's note: Guest Columnist Tom Clark has a few views on the future
of Bradford, PA.
If all goes as planned, Bradford's waterfront district will soon have a new look.
According to a reliable source at the McKean County Housing Authority, workers will break
ground for a new multi-tenant condominium project at Mutant Beach.
Peter Gozinia, Executive Director of the Welfare advocacy group WhyWork?, says the
six-story condo project is "...more of an upscale living opportunity for a select
group of Public
Welfare recipients."
Gozinia explains that many of the Brookline Court and South Center Street residents
have done well with exempt investments and businesses and are entitled to a better way of
life.
I caught a glimpse of the architectural plans and, I must admit, I wish I qualified to
live in one of the condos. There are 42 units, ranging from three to six bedrooms, an
indoor/outdoor pool, a complete fitness center with a sauna and steam room, a large
community room and secure underground parking.
"The amenities alone are worth the move", Gozinia stated.
"Some of the people in the projects have worked hard avoiding work all of their lives
and now they will be rewarded." Gozinia, a resident of South Center Street, will be
the first to sign a non-binding, damage-waivered lease for the new condominiums.
"I'm taking a six bedroom unit, even though me and the old lady only have four
kids. I'm hoping that she spits out another one before we move in", Gozinia said.
The condominiums will be built across the creek from the South Center Street
townhouses, with street access from West Corydon Street. A foot bridge will span the creek
to the townhouses and a concrete walkway will connect the condos to Kiwanis Court.
Gozinia said that the Welfare community is excited about the project and have already
formed a Naming Committee. Some of the early suggestions include Mutant Vista, the
Beachfront Condominiums and the Tuna Tower.
Response to the condo project has been mostly favorable by local officials. A
spokesperson at Bradford City Hall said the Mayor hopes the condos attract "a better
class of reliefers" to the city. County Commissioner Harold T. Beck was disappointed
that Marshburg was not considered as a site for the project.
"We were hoping to bring the condo project up the hill", Beck
said. "It's hard to compete with the natural beauty of Mutant Beach and I wish them
the best of luck. It's something Bradford has needed for a long time."
Representatives from the OECD were out to lunch and can't
be reached until next Wednesday.
Gozinia added that the condo project is only Phase Two of the ongoing waterfront
improvements to the Mutant Beach area. "Phase One is the BeachFest grounds, including
the
amphitheater construction. The taxpayers did a great job of supplying us with money to
improve the grounds", Gozinia said. "After the condos are built, we are hoping
to add an 18-hole private golf course for our people."
With nothing to do all day, Gozinia explains, golf would be
the perfect sport for Welfare recipients.
Gozinia realizes that land procurement for the golf course will be tricky. "We
have a whole neighborhoods full of houses adjacent to Brookline Court just wasting space.
The people who live in them barely use them. I never see them
out on their porches drinking beer, and they leave them empty all day long while they go
to work or wherever they go."
Gozinia said their will be a Petition Booth at the Mutant BeachFest '99, "to rid
our area of those pesky working people".
An artist's rendering of the condo project will be available for public viewing in the
Visitor's Center at Mutant BeachFest '99.
If you have a comment on this article please click here.
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