JULY 24 - JULY 30, 1999
JULY 30, 1999
On the radio
Have you ever had one of those weeks when you just don't sleep at night? This has been
one of those for me.
I was sure that I was going to sleep last night. When I hit the pillow I went right
off to sleep. Shortly after that, Sharyn woke me to tell me to get off my back and roll on
my side. I guess I was snoring. I vaguely remember that because I must have immediately
gone right back to sleep. I was beat! That was sometime around 11 or 11:30. Then it
started.
The dog began carrying on because a thunderstorm was rolling through. Just
like a small child who is afraid of the thunder and lightning, the dog will not sleep or
settle down unless she can be next to me. So I go out on the couch so she can lay on the
floor and then, maybe, we can get some sleep.
Really, I've never minded the thunder and lightning. Actually I enjoy watching it.
Sleeping during a thunderstorm or a hard rain is kind of soothing to me, so I really
didn't mind. I opened the curtains over the front window and settled in and began to drift
off to sleep once more.
I think it couldn't have been too long after I was asleep. It was in the beginning
of the first dream or there about that I began hearing some knocking. I couldn't have been
in that deep of a sleep because the knocking became incorporated in the dream.. Whatever I
was dreaming about, I was also trying to answer the door. Then I heard my name being
called. That was when I awoke.
My eyes opened and I looked up at the window over the couch. There, hanging from
the front porch support post and knocking on the front window was Red Jacket wearing a
walk man on his head.. Imagine waking to the image of an Indian War Chief who is over 260
years old wearing a walk man instead of a war bonnet! Believe me, it is not a very
pleasant thing. It scares the hell out of you.
"Come on out," he said to me when he saw my eyes open. "Come on
out."
With the threat of the thunderstorm gone, my dog didn't move. She didn't care what
I did. She was tired and she was going to get her sleep. I wasn't surprised in the least,
either. That is the way things usually go for me. I got up and went out on the front
porch.
Cornplanter was already sitting in a chair and Red Jacket began hugging me as soon as I
left the house. "What's this for?" I asked.
Red Jacket mumbled something that I couldn't understand and when I asked him to
repeat himself Cornplanter explained what the sudden show of emotion was all about.
"He heard you talking about him on the radio," Cornplanter said. "He liked
hearing his name and he liked what you said about him. He liked everything except the part
about selling Grand Island. He didn't want that to get out."
Cornplanter was talking about me being on the radio with Marie Costello that
afternoon between 12:30 and 1 to discuss The Mountain Laurel Review's sixth
anniversary yesterday. And, in response to a question from Marie about Red Jacket, I gave
him the plug that made him so emotional.
Oh well, I thought. Then I remembered the first time I heard my name on the radio
and how I felt.
It was back in 1969 or 1970, probably 1969 and I was in the Air Force in
Illinois. I played baseball on weekends and at nights in the Eastern Illinois League. It
was 1969 because I was playing for Paxton against Rantoul. Danny Lathrop was their pitcher
and he was killing us. It was a close game like 1 - 0 so I took it upon myself to teach
him a lesson. (He had brushed back a few of our guys and even hit Billy Lynch, a
friend of mine who was a student in the weather school and a fellow Pennsylvanian who
played ball at Penn State.)
On the very first pitch I put him in the dirt. I sent a fast ball right at his
head. On the next pitch I aimed just a bit behind his left shoulder and his natural
instinct to jump back put him in the path of the second speeding fast ball, The sound of
the ball hitting him was like music to my ears. Thud! It hit with a distinctly hollow
sound that echoed over the entire ball park. Even before I could hold back the smile,
Lathrop threw the bat out at me on the pitcher's mound. He missed, but that set off a
brawl that not only made the front page of the RANTOUL REVIEW the next day, but was
carried as the lead radio headline for three days. And, my name was prominently mentioned.
It was so prominently mentioned, I stayed out of the local bars for several weeks.
I understood Red Jacket's elation in a way, but I had to laugh, too. WESB? I
thought. Marie Costello's show? I laughed out loud. Cornplanter asked what I was laughing
about so I told him.
"It's not like being mentioned on Howard Stern's show or anything like
that," I said. "It is only WESB and Marie. Heck," I said. "She was
more interested in asking me about Lesbians and women having Lesbian affairs than Red
Jacket."
"You don't understand," Cornplanter said. "It was the thought that
he was mentioned. Marie didn't know who he was. He's had that problem for several hundred
years. I have too. Me, it doesn't bother. Him, it bothers. I can't tell you how many times
he's complained about Sitting Bull and Geronimo getting all the press. He's always wanted
to know how many people they burned alive. He claims our numbers would embarrass the best
of them.
"And," Cornplanter went on. "You should have seen the people who
came to the Bradford Hotel just to meet him tonight. There were thirty people who had
never been in the place in their lives who came in just to meet him. That really impressed
him and he gives you and Marie Costello all the credit."
Then, for the first time since waking me, Red Jacket was able to speak.
"What is Marie like?" he asked. "Is she pretty? Do you think
she'd like to go to Arby's with me for dinner sometime?" Then, flustered with himself
he changed his mind. "I couldn't take a classy lady like Marie Costello to Arbys.
Help me, Bud," he said. "Call up Pete. See if you can't arrange for me to get
your table at the Downbeat. I'll take her there for all you can eat crab legs! That's what
I'll do. Crab legs! That's the ticket! Set it up, Bud," he said. With that he rushed
off into the darkness.
"Where's he going?" I asked Cornplanter.
"Probably to kill a few skunks. Skunk liver. Remember?" he said reminding me.
"Yes," I said. "Now what do I do?" I asked the chief.
"Call Marie. Set up a date. What else can you do? Don't disappoint him. He changes
fast."
Great, I thought to myself. Just great! Now I have to play cupid between a 260 year old
Seneca Chief and Marie Costello. Why me?
In the meantime, Vince still doesn't understand the contest but he made a
big comeback yesterday inspite of voting in my favor once more. The tally now stands at:
Vince is
98
Bud is
110
Your comments and votes are welcome at rdhedbud@penn.com.
JULY 29, 1999
Count Dracula and Hummingbirds
Good morning. It's 6 A.M. and there is a beautiful full moon in the western sky.
Thunderstorms rolled on through last night and my youngest dog, Starr, had me up with her.
Nature put on quite a show while we got some much needed rain.
The voting in the Steak and Beans Contest remains at a good clip. Yesterday, I received
the following vote:
No doubt about it. If I told you once, I told you a gazillion
times. There just aint no comparison VINCE IS
Now who do you think sent that e-mail? In a
gazillion years you would never guess that the person who cast their vote saying that
Vince Gaeto is scarier to Count Dracula than Harold T. Beck was none other than Vincent P.
Gaeto, Jr. himself!
Thank you, Vince. As a result of your vote saying
that you were scarier (uglier) than me, you are now in the lead.
Vince is
62
Bud is
61
Seriously, this is disturbing to me. By now I was
sure that Vince would be outdistancing me by an easy 2 to 1 margin. I was sure that only
Vince Gaeto had a face that could scare Count Dracula.
Now, Vince. You just may want to get this right and cast
another vote. For the record, I have not voted as of yet. Go back and read the article
again. Vote as often as you want.
Yesterday afternoon we had a thunderstorm go through. It
kept me from cutting the grass over at the Rainbow Inn. Before it began I was able to
catch a few pictures of the Hummingbirds with my new digital camera. We literally have two
dozen of them. We have two feeders and they go through 24 ounces of nectar a day.
There are two in this picture.
It is really a past time to sit and watch them fight over the control of the feeder.
They swarm around and actually knock heads. More fighting than feeding seems to go on, but
considering that I fill two feeders each morning, I guess they are eating too.
In this picture you can see three of them. While it was being taken there were four
others buzzing my head. I was getting too close to suit them and this big red headed
intruder got bumped as posed a threat to them.
Everyone in our family enjoys watching and feeding them (really, I do all the
feeding).
Little known facts about Hummingbirds are:
-Keep your feeder out and full for one week after you have seen the last
hummingbird.
-There are more than three hundred species found in the Western Hemisphere and
approximately nineteen of them are found in North America.
-Hummingbirds appear from Alaska to Florida.
-They are the only birds able to hover and fly backwards.
-The average Hummingbird ranges in size from two to five inches.
-A Hummingbird consumes half its weight in sugar each day.
I can certainly attest to that last one. Right now, because I mix a one to one
concentration, I have three cups of sugar and three cups of water on the stove heating.
The standard is 1 to 4, but like my kids, I spoil the Hummingbirds, too. What can I say?
They are my guests.
Have a nice day and don't forget to vote. Your comments and votes are welcome at rdhedbud@penn.com.
JULY 28, 1999
As of 6 A.M. this morning, the voting is in a dead heat believe it or not! Vince
is! 32 Bud is! 32 Thank you for
participating. Some of the comments accompanying the votes are priceless. I will use them
in a future column. Now for today's article.
Right isn't always right, or is it?
Red Jacket and Cornplanter made a surprise appearance on my front porch this morning
just after 3:30 A.M. Red Jacket had three skunks he'd killed with him.
"I made him leave them out by the road, " Cornplanter said. "I know
how Sharyn hates those things. Who can blame her? My wives hated it when he came by our
lodge house and brought his bag of skunks with him. Nothing seems to upset a woman more
than when there is a strange smell in her house."
The old chief knew what he was talking about. I thanked him.
"We looked for you at the Bradford Hotel last night," Red Jacket said.
"No one had seen you."
"I didn't feel all that great last night," I said. "I stayed close
to home. What was going on at the Hotel?" I asked.
"You were the topic of conversation," Cornplanter said. "We had a
beer with Sheffer. He told us that the town was in a tizzy over the "Alliance"
and the way you forced them to expose themselves."
"And Chris Hauser is all upset about you calling him a cat hater, too,"
Red Jacket added..
"Was he there?" I asked.
"No," Cornplanter said. "Some relative of his was. She said that he
was upset. She was laughing about it. I got the impression that they weren't all that
close."
I said nothing. I didn't know one way or the other. I had never heard of any
relatives, just some chick that took him for a ride up in Ellicotville.
"You know," Red Jacket said. "That guy who's running against Hauser
for that District Justice position. What's his name?"
"Dick Cavallero," I answered. I also pointed out it was spelled with an
"e" and not an "a."
"Yes, Dick Cavallero with an "e", Red Jacket continued."If I
was that guy, I'd call you up and thank you. You gave him a great issue to use against him
in the election and it is very valid."
"Really?"I asked. "How's that?"
Cornplanter began shaking his head. "You are such a babe in the woods
sometimes," he said to me. "Think about the whole thing. Who will Hauser
represent if he is elected? Will it be the little people, or the little businesses? Will
it be Candy Bush and the mom and pop store owners and businesses?"
"Probably not," I said. "We all know how he feels about Candy Bush.
It didn't matter to him that the board was satisfied with her performance. It didn't
matter to him that she hadn't done anything wrong. He was carrying out the wishes of Mike
Shuler."
"Exactly! Red Jacket said. "So if he is elected and it comes to a choice
between the little guy and one of his high flouting friends; who do you think he will
favor?
Red Jacket was right. I couldn't imagine Hauser, or anyone else for that matter, having
the guts to stand up against the wishes of the "Alliance." Heck, I thought.
Hauser is a member of the "Alliance." He was making phone calls to get support
to dump Candy Bush. Some District Justice, I thought.
"He'd be another insider doing the bidding of the big boys in the Bradford
Club," Cornplanter said.
"It would certainly appear that would be the way things would go," I
said.
"Yeah," Red Jacket said. "That Cavallero guy, with an "e",
he's the chief of police who has a problem with the records, isn't he?"
"That's him," I said.
"You see. That's not an unpardonable sin. Anyone can foul up records. But to
deal behind the scenes and do a loyal and hard working director dirt like Hauser and his
rich friends were doing, that's the unpardonable sin. Hauser set himself up as being
better than the rest of us. Most people are like me. We can forgive bad record keeping, or
even hating cats. We can't forgive it when he kicks the little guy and tries to give his
friends and himself more power to tell us how to think and what to do. We don't like that.
We will vote against someone who does that every time if the other guy comes out and tells
us that's what his opponent was doing."
I listened carefully.
"This Hauser guy is in a world of hurt," Cornplanter said. "Red
Jacket and I want you to get us voter registration forms so we can vote for Cavallero with
an "e". He's our candidate now. We'll even work the polls for him."
"You guys can't vote," I said.
"Yes we can. The Supreme Court of the United States gave Indians the right to
vote."
"Not that," I said. "You have to be residents of Bradford or Corydon
Township," I said.
"We're residents of where we say we are," Red Jacket said, rising to his
feet drawing his hatchet.
I thought he was going to hit me with it, but instead he took up a protective
stance aimed toward the yard. It was then that I saw a huge shining black bear lumbering
across my front yard.
"What a winter coat he would make!" Red Jacket said.
"Leave him alone," Cornplanter told him. "You have your hands full
with the skunks. We are not going to help you drag that big thing back to our camp."
"You camp?" I asked.
"Yes," Cornplanter said. "We are living at your father-in-law's
camp. He left us a key the last time he was here and told us to help ourselves. George is
quite a fine fellow. We moved in. We are his caretakers now."
He needs a caretaker, I thought to myself.
"So," Cornplanter said. "Get us voter registration forms and we will
register to vote for Cavallero with an "e" so we can keep a stuffed shirt cat
hater like Hauser from being elected."
"You know," Red Jacket said to me. "You were very brave to
expose what those guys were doing. They may just go and do it anyway; but now the woman,
Candy, knows they wanted to pay a man more and she knows the facts. She can sue the whole
bunch of them and win if they fire her.
"It isn't often that being right is enough. You know that better than
anyone. When the big boys in the "Alliance" and the Bradford Club want their
way, they have the money and the clout to usually get it. You are the exception. They have
gone out of their ways to get rid of you. You need to hang in there. Being right should be
enough. You need to see that it is."
Red Jacket's words humbled me. He was much smarter than me. He had so much more
wisdom. I guess that happens when you reach 257 years of age. Then I wondered what Judy
Ordiway at Voter Registration would do when the two sent in their voter registration
forms. That will be an interesting day, I thought. Oh well.
Comments and votes are welcome at rdhedbud@penn.com.
For those of you wondering about voting, refer to the July 27th article, Vince and
me. Have a nice day.
JULY 27, 1999
Vince and me
One of the more interesting people I've met in the area is one of our local Funeral
Directors. I always enjoy seeing "Smiling" Vince Gaeto, and I especially enjoy
talking to him. Yesterday was one of those rare opportunities.
Now Vince and I have done some pretty weird things together. At least I would say that
we have. To him, well, they are normal. For example, like the time we took a tour of the
grave yards in the county. I can't quote the exact number of them. He told me. But I did
not even think to file that away in the recesses of my memory that stores useless
information like that. Yesterday was similar to the day we went looking at grave yards. We
went on a walking tour of Bradford.
When Vince and I first met we were both running for election in 1995. I was running
for County Commissioner. He was running for County Coroner. In an election that was full
of currents swirling beneath the surface, Vince was a breath of fresh air. Just seeing his
smiling face immediately brought a smile to mine.
That was a funny campaign. While other people put signs in the front yards of their
supporters, Vince put his, picture and all, in the grave yards. That's where, and I still
insist that it is true, I came up with the crack about Vince being McKean County's
protection against Vampires and the such, "because a face like that could scare even
Count Dracula!
Vince was good natured about me printing that in The Mountain Laurel Review.
At the Fire Fighter of the Year Award Dinner he took public exception to my statement. He
insisted that if there was ever a contest between the two of us as to who would and would
not scare Count Dracula, I would be the winner, not him! That is totally absurd.
And wouldn't you know it. That's what we wound up talking about as we walked around
Bradford admiring all the empty store fronts!
Who is scarier looking?
You be the judge!
Which one of us would scare Count Dracula? (Just by the looks of us - nothing else.)
I am challenging "Smiling" Vince Gaeto to a Steak and Beans Contest. Who ever
wins at scaring Count Dracula eats Beans. The loser eats Steak! The Winner buys! (And this
is craziness because anyone who ever saw Vince eat, knows that this could get costly.)
E-mail your choice to rdhedbud@penn.com and just
say "Vince is" or "Bud is" and we will tally the votes. The contest
begins today and it ends on August 30th. Vote as many times as you want, but only one vote
per e-mail.
Anyway, Vince and I had a pretty good time. It was a nice summer day. The
humidity was low and the sun was shining. Still, you do get an odd feeling walking around
town with a Funeral Director. You wonder if he just might not be sizing you up. When I
mentioned that to him, he laughed.
"I've had you sized up for a long time, Bud," he said.
And I knew it, too! What a revolting development. But that is what happens when you
befriend someone like Vince. Bizarre things happen to and around you. That might be part
of what is happening with me, but only a small part. Anyway, we had a nice walk and when
it ended we decided we would invite Woody to come with us the next time.
"We better be careful," Vince said. "We had a nice leisurely pace.
Woody goes crazy. He's into this fitness thing. We'll both have heart attacks if we try
walking with him."
"Good thinking," I said. "We'll have him meet us for lunch after the
walk."
"Fine," Vince said. "He can take us to the Bradford Club."
"Get real!" I said. "Me at the Bradford Club! The Alliance would put
out a contract on me if I went there. That's sacred ground."
"You get real," Vince said licking his chops. "Why do you think I'm
walking with you. They probably already have."
I shook my head. He was probably right. But that's the way it goes with Vince and
me.
Comments and your votes are welcome at rdhedbud@penn.com.
JULY 26, 1999
Oh Marty!!!!!!
Even as I was asking the question: "Is the SPCA the next target for the Bradford
Area Alliance?" you shattered me. Saturday’s editorial was more than I could
bear. The headline Alliance has lost credibility certainly encouraged me; and I
even looked the other way when you opened with: "Tactless? Insensitive? Arrogant?
Chauvinistic?" (Sharyn thought you were talking about me.)
But Marty, why did you have to take this to the next worst plateau? Why did you have to
do it? Is it because there are no Power Women on the Alliance? Did you have to
raise the gender issue?
I could have agreed with you when you said : "Still, it’s hard to ignore the
gender issue considering that not only would a woman be replaced by a man, but that he
(without any notable credentials beyond hers) would make twice as much money." I
could have but you forgot something. What about the reverse of what you just pointed out?
What about when Linda Devlin was hired (also without any notable credentials beyond his)
to make twice the money as Charlie Dach? Is it only an issue when it happens to a woman?
What about The Bradford Era and the position you hold, and the staff
that is heavily weighted (in bodies not pounds by any means - even though the men are
lightweights) in favor of the women?
Marty! Marty! Marty! What are we to do with you?
The editorial was so good until you did that. Please don’t submit it as one of
your best works. Even the crummy ones you write about me and don’t sign your name to
them are better than that. Everything else was on target, to the point, and made sense. I
agreed! I thought you were plagiarizing me. A gender issue? Get real!
In the meantime, consider the next target for the Alliance. This makes more sense than
the gender issue.
Even in the midst of their pressure filled propaganda campaign to replace Candy
Bush as the Executive Director of the Chamber of Commerce of the Bradford Area, rumors
have reached The Mountain Laurel Review about a similar move on the local SPCA.
We have been told that even while the Chamber of Commerce move was being made public,
"The Alliance" was holding high level meetings for the purpose of taking control
of the SPCA.
Janet McCauley was not available for comment; but Vince Iaderosa, owner of
Vincent’s, The Home of Quality Diamonds in the Bradford Area, expressed his shock at
the suggestion. "Please don’t tell me that!" he pleaded when he was reached
at his place of business on Saturday morning. "That is the worst of all possible
news," he said.
Our "confidential informant" who is privy to the inner workings of
"The Alliance" tells us it has to do with mixed breed animals. Speaking to us
with the promise of anonymity, he told us the following:
"There are certain members who object to the mixed breeding. They do not want to
see mutts placed. They feel that only pure breeds should be allowed to be placed in our
community. The others should be destroyed or sold to Oriental Restaurants. Right now, Ray
McMahon is trying to buy a building so he can install a Vietnamese Restaurant as an
incubator project . That is why they want to replace Heidi as manager. They can’t
afford to have what they intend to do get out. And that goes for cats, too.
Chris Hauser is a big time cat hater, or at least that’s what I’ve
heard," he said. "He feels that the strays will pose a threat to the
construction of Continental One through the area. He wants us to control the animal
population."
Another source told us the consensus is that mixed breeds and cats belong in
Smethport, Port Allegany, and the other outlying areas. "The Alliance" we are
told, wants none of that in the Tuna Valley.
"They feel the mutts and the cats should go the way of the pigeons," he said,
making reference to the fact that at one time the entire Tuna Valley all the way to the
Allegheny River across the state line, once had the largest population of native pigeons
in the world.
"The ancestors of the very men who run "The Alliance" were the ones who
saw to it that the pigeons moved on or were killed. They plan to do the same thing with
mutts and cats."
Mike Glesk, Executive Director of the Bradford Area Alliance, was not available for
comment.
Even as absurd as that may sound, it is closer to the truth than anyone realizes. We
should all be on guard. We should all be very leery of this "secret society"
that seems to know what is best for all of us. Even Friday's cover-up article in
The Era pointing to the number of empty store fronts on Main Street shows us the
disregard they have for all of us.
What is happening on Bradford's Main Street is also happening on Kane's Main Street
and on thousands of other Main Streets all over the nation. Everyone is competing for
whatever they perceive they need to compete for. The reality is that certain opportunists
see this as a way for themselves to make out at our expense. Other opportunists see it as
a way to centralize power and take over. We have both forces working here.
It starts innocently with the taking over of the tourism dollars in the county. Then it
moves to the placing of key people like Chris "the cat hater" Hauser in as
District Justice. From there it goes to controlling the Chamber of Commerce by whatever
means it takes. And then - who knows where it goes and what is next?
Comment at rdhedbud@penn.com.
JULY 24 & 25, 1999
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