FEBRUARY 5 - FEBRUARY 11, 2000
FEBRUARY 11, 2K
Happy Birthday Sharyn!
Good morning. It is 39.6 degrees outside and we are told that the temperature will
drop shortly. The Cold Front has gone through. We had rain last night and ice and snow was
coming down off the roof all night. That, along with the dog, Rocky, who wanted out at
1:30 all played into another sleepless night. Oh well. And then it is Sharyn's Birthday,
too.
Sharyn and I have been together for 18 of these birthdays. Many have been memorable.
There was the time in Austin when I took her up to the top of Mount Bonnell. It
overlooks the Colorado River Valley down to Austin and we had a bottle of very expensive
Champagne while we watched the sunset. I had a ring made for her using her grandmother's
diamond and a new one that I purchased to match it. Then I gave her a key to a motel room
and promised her "a night she wouldn't soon forget."
Sharyn protested that she didn't have anything with her. You know: makeup, toothbrush,
etc. So I stopped at a drug store on the way to the motel and let her get what she needed.
We were at the motel five minutes later and as we opened the door to the suite I had
rented earlier in the day, about 50 people screamed out "Surprise!"
Then there was last year. I wrote an article and I am re-printing it today. This one
proved to be one of our best and drew quite a bit of comment.
FEBRUARY 16, 1999
I was in love with the Tic Tac girl.....
Good morning. At 5:35 A.M., it is 31.1 degrees and another
cold front is on the way. On the heels of our editorial and letter
on Friday, I see the Army has finally ruled the death of Gordon
Hess a murder. Talk about being timely!
Anyway, with Valentine's Day over, things should get back to
normal for the next forty-one days.
Why forty-one days? Tomorrow is Ash Wednesday and Easter is
forty days after that. Easter is the next time men are required to come
up with something special for their wives. Then, there is Mother's Day beyond Easter,
looming in the distance like an approaching storm.
Sharyn and I have been married for many years now. It has been so
long that I am forced to admit that I tend to forget the actual number. I know that our
anniversary is March 14th, and if required, I can back track by remembering the year and
doing the proper math in my head. It was the year I returned from Saudi Arabia - no, not
the Gulf War; but more along the lines when Iraq and Iran were at war. That's
another story - my trip to the middle east.
Anyway, between my first wife leaving me to raise my son alone and
going off to pursue her career, and me meeting and marrying Sharyn, I lived a life that
was lonely and very often in total disarray. I was a
working mother and really experienced a major gender crisis. Women entered my life and
they left my life. I can't say that at times it wasn't fun - but because my wife will
undoubtedly read this, I can't say that it as all that great either - you know, out of
self preservation.
It was the seventies and the eighties and most anything went back then. That was the
way of the times. Through the turmoil, the loneliness, and the confusion; only a few
things were constant in my life. They were my job, my son, and the woman on television who
did the Tic Tac commercials.
The first time I saw her I was in love. I loved the way she looked and
I loved the way she wrinkled up her cute little nose when she talked.
She didn't entice me to buy Tic Tac, but she did make we want to
watch their commercials. Oddly enough, I never saw her on television
programs or in movies. She was only on the Tic Tac commercials.
Through those years I judged every woman I met by her.
My job was gone. I had quit to sell a new process for internally
coating pipe. Did you ever think about how many sections of pipe oil
producing countries use? Trust me, they use a bunch! Off to Arabia I
went to the headquarters of the Arabian American Oil Company.
While sitting in a waiting room in Dhahran I picked up a magazine. To
my shock, pictures of women were taken out of the magazine. To my
greater shock, there was a Tic Tac add with the love of my life cut
from the page. Barbarians, I said to myself. I could never live there!
I returned home and eventually married my wife. She was the only
woman who I found that could hold a candle to the Tic Tac girl. But I
had an interesting dilemma. She was still on television doing those
great little commercials and from time to time Sharyn noticed my
attentiveness when she came on. Once, she even accused me of
having a crush on her. If she only knew! Me and Jimmy Carter - two
kindred spirits lusting in our hearts. Oh my!
But life is all too real and fantasy gives way to earning a living, taking
the kids (she had two and I had one) on vacation, buying our daughter the right jeans
(remember Gloria Vanderbilt jeans?), teaching them to drive, getting the car repaired
after their minor accidents (thank God!), and seeing that they graduated high school -
each in order, and sending them off to college. Somewhere in those years she left
television. Tic Tac stopped using her. The only time I would think of her was on the
occasion that my wife would offer me a Tic Tac on a trip as I was driving. Then I would
fondly remember her.
Why am I remembering her this morning? It's odd, but they have a
new girl doing her commercials. She is pretty and has short blond hair. She is at a train
saying goodbye to a man and as he runs for the train she blows him a kiss. The lucky
conductor steps in the way and the traveling kiss hits him on the cheek. It is cute, but
somehow just not the same. Of course, neither am I. None of us are the same as we
used to be.
Coming back from Pittsburgh the other day I was telling Greg Henry
about my homelife and how good it is. I told him I had it good
because of my wife. I said that I enjoyed being at home with her and
really had no desire to go anywhere without her. I also realized that I
hadn't told her that. It bothered me that I hadn't actually said the
words, but I realized that I really had in other ways. Many of them
were ways in which she told me, too. That, I concluded, was love.
It certainly wasn't what I was looking for back in the days of my Tic
Tac girl. Back then, I wanted what everyone has always wanted. It
hasn't changed even today. I watch my children and my nieces and see them searching and
looking for something that just isn't there. Good times and activity is not love.
Sometimes, it isn't even fun. In many ways I was better off loving the Tic Tac girl back
then. She did me just fine until something better came along.
When our daughter asked my wife what I did for her for her
Birthday/Valentine's Day, and my wife told her, she also said that I
was a pretty good guy and she is glad she kept me. Kimberly said
back to her something to the effect of "Yes, but you certainly had
cause many many times if you hadn't." Kimberly was right. There were tough times,
there always are. Sticking them out is something that we don't do as a rule anymore.
Unfortunately so because by not seeing them through few seldom realize what love really
is. I do and am satisfied that I do. I can only hope that my Tic Tac girl is as happy as I
am - afterall, it could have been great!
And a year later, I have to say that it still is great. I am a lucky man in
spite of the many events of the last year. I realized that last night as I held my
grandson and looked around the room. All of those people were together because Sharyn and
I got married. No other reason. It was because we got married and stuck it out.
Happy Birthday Honey!
Comment on this article at rdhedbud@penn.com.
FEBRUARY 10, 2K
Just another night at the Bradford Hotel
Good morning. It is 27 degrees at 6:18 A.M.
I was down at the Bradford Hotel last night. I had a phone call from Tommy Clark and he
wanted to meet me there. By the time I arrived the usual assortment of characters were
there. As soon as I arrived, everyone expressed their condolences at the passing of Aunt
Rose.
"She was a great lady," someone said. I didn't catch who it was. I was busy
wiping my eyes. I have been doing a whole lot of that lately. All I could do was agree.
"Wait till Red Jacket hears," someone said. That drew a laugh.
Of course Sheffer was at the end of the bar. The Great Irish Tenor and the finest Chief
of Police in the history of Bradford, PA, Billy Peckham, was there, too. So were Welfare
Wes, Toothless Tim, Mattress Margie, and Grant Nichols. Tommy was waiting for me.
I looked over at the table in the corner. Dave the Transvestite and his
"friend" Laura were not there. I guess my glance gave me away. Sheffer spoke
right at the subject.
"I told that son of a gun if he ever came back in here he had better be dressed
like a man. This dressing up as a woman does not go far with me. And I have been hearing
other things about him ever since. It turns out that he wants to be a woman. Can you
imagine that! I don't know that I want him in here at all, now."
Welfare Wes spoke up.
"I heard he is getting a divorce. Wouldn't that make some juicy stuff in court!
The soon to be ex-Mrs. Dave the Transvestite getting up on the stand and testifying what
he wanted her to do as well as what he made her do to him. I'd drive over to
Smethport to hear that testimony."
Toothless Tim laughed and Grant Nichols, always hot for a story wanted to know where he
hung out.
"I could get pictures and run a special expose in The Journal. Where does
he hang out?"
Mattress Margie answered that for him. "Marsh's and the New City Line."
I kept my mouth shut.
My drink arrived. Tom wanted to change the subject.
"What about this nude bar?" he asked.
I shook my head. "What nude bar?" I asked.
"The nude bar in your building."
This was all getting very annoying to me. I kept my cool and I answered him.
"I saw the plans. It is an adult cabaret. Nowhere does anything say a word about
alcohol. It does not have a liquor license and it will not sell alcohol. It is not a
bar."
Tom nodded. "Then The Error is full of crap."
"What else is new?" I asked.
Then he went off as he is known to do from time to time.
"Residents pack city hearing", blared this morning's headline in The
Error. The subheading claimed "Almost all oppose nude club."
"Is this a shock?" he said. "I hardly think so. Those who are in favor
would be nuts to speak up in a vigilante setting such as last night's meeting."
Welfare Wes agreed with him. So did Mattress Margie.
"I didn't bother reading the entire Error article because I knew that it
would be slanted to their benefit, as most items are that they print. But what caught my
eye was picture of one Dr. Roger Laroche, a psychiatrist at BRMC. He makes a vanilla
statement that statistics show nude clubs attract people with sex addictions."
That drew a laugh from the bar. Tommy continued.
"Geez, Doc, ya think? Nothing like giving us some data that is a no brainer.
That's like saying bars attract alcoholics and grocery stores attract fat women. I can
picture all of the Bible Thumpers and do-gooders nodding their empty little heads in
agreement when the shrink announces his startling data. They paraded this quack in to sway
the public and this is the best he could come up with?"
Everyone roared at that. It was obvious that he was frustrated.
"I'm not going to say anymore. I have to go to the bathroom now which, by the way,
attracts people with kidney problems."
And as he got up and walked away we realized where he stood on nude bars, nude clubs,
and cabarets. He didn't comment on Dave the Transvestite. I guess he left that for another
day.
Comments are welcome at rdhedbud@penn.com.
FEBRUARY 9, 2K
Aunt Rose's final resting place
Good morning. They were right. It is 27.9 degrees this morning. It is warming up.
Hopefully, some of the ice will drop off the buildings while this is happening. Get on
your hard hats!
In the midst of the surge in e-mail, all condolences at the loss of Aunt Rose, I
thought I would share with you the place where she is buried and tell you a little bit
about it.
Rose's earthly remains are resting in Woodlawn Cemetery. That is located in the Bronx,
New York.
When Rose came to live with Sharyn and me in 1996, a family member who wanted to place
her in a nursing home and sell off her assets challenged her sanity. The family member
caused such a ruckus that the bank Rose dealt with froze all of her account, including
denying anyone, including Rose, access to her safe deposit box. What did the bank care?
They had what money there was and they were prepared to sit with it forever.
Needless to say, Rose, who was 91 at the time, was upset. She was forced to prove her
sanity just because she was old. At the same time, the family member who caused the
problem, was under the treatment of a psychiatrist and an alcoholic.
Rose, now temporarily penniless and dependent on me for her support, had to undergo
several interviews to prove that she was competent. All the while she and I would go to
work together at the Court House. She would sit in my office and read books, attend
commissioners meetings, and go to lunch with Mr. Weaver, Mr. Stratton, and myself. One
person, remembering those days wrote to me about it yesterday.
It is hard to believe that four years have gone by. It seems like only yesterday
that I first walked into your commissioner's office and saw Aunt Rose sitting in a chair.
I was concerned about talking in front of this woman I didn't know. I remember you
reassured me not to worry - she doesn't hear that well. I went home that day and Mary said
what kind of person was Commissioner Beck. I told her you seemed like a decent person.
However, the thing that impressed me the most about Commissioner Beck was that he is
taking care of his Aunt and brings her to work with him. I have never seen a county
commissioner do that before. Most people would be too
timid or embarrassed to do something like that.
Those were good days for Aunt Rose and for me. We grew to depend on one another and she
genuinely got a feel for Western Pennsylvania, the place that would become her new home.
Through the trials of those first few months, Rose asked me to promise her two things.
Without knowing what they were, I unconditionally gave her my word I would do what she
wanted.
The first was to see that the care for her mother's grave and the graves of her
mother's family were taken care of in perpetuity. I gave my word and I have bound my son
to that promise.
The second was that she be buried with her husband Larry. Last Saturday, with the aid
of my sister-in-law, Sharyn, and John Gates, three people Rose loved and depended upon
during the past four years, I kept that promise, too. And what a magnificent final resting
place it is.
Stealing from their brochure they describe themselves like this:
Whenever you drive north on the Bronx River Parkway, as you pass Gun Hill Road, you see
on your left the rolling hills and quiet beauty of The Woodlawn Cemetery. Founded in 1863
during the third year of the Civil War, Woodlawn was designed as a "rural
cemetery," a product of the Romantic Era. Throughout the years it has managed to
remain so, and become and "oasis" of art, history, and beautiful ecology with
its own "Hall of Fame" in the midst of a growing city.
And what an oasis it is!
Four hundred acres of magnificent structures that are the resting places of families we
grew up reading about in newspapers and history books. It is the final resting place for
names like Joseph Pulitzer, Herman Melville, Fritz Kreisler, Jay Gould, F.W. Woolworth,
James Cash Penny, Ralph Bunche, Victor Herbert, R.H. Macy, George M. Cohan, Vernon and
Irene Castle, Duke Ellington, Elizabeth Cady Stanton, Carrie Chapman Catt and Nellie Bly.
The monuments and mausoleums to these and other people and families are breathtaking.
The small plot that contains several of the Eschmann family was purchased in 1871. It
has been deeded and passed on through the family until now, the final space has been used.
And Aunt Rose would be pleased that the last of the two promises I made to her was kept.
Unfortunately, it is too easy not to do what our elderly want or need. Unfortunately,
it is too easy to stack them up like cordwood in nursing homes and let someone else worry
about them. It is very easy to forget about them as we go on with our important and oh so
necessary lives and pursue our own pleasures. And what a shame it is. What a waste and
what a loss.
I want to take the time to thank everyone who was involved in helping me keep my
promise.
Vince Gaeto who handled the final arrangements. A fine man who did an outstanding job.
Aunt Rose's little grin was captured for all to see.
Fran Cahill who promptly responded to my morning phone call when Aunt Rose passed on.
The Staff of Woodlawn Cemetery who were so attentive and prompt in their final job; and
especially a distinguished looking man, Arthur J. Taylor, an employee who gave me words of
comfort and encouragement on that lovely Saturday morning.
And to all of you who have loved her recipes and the stories I have written about her.
All of you who have been so kind in your notes, calls, flowers, and memorials. Thank you.
Rose is finally at peace and with the family she spoke so often to be about. We miss
you Aunt Rose.
FEBRUARY 8, 2K
It's warming up!
It is -2.4 degrees right now at 6 A.M. It was -7.3 degrees at 5. That is a definite
improvement in the temperature and according to Erie Weather, at this time tomorrow it
should be 30 degrees. We will see.
Once more I would like to thank all of you for the notes of condolences at the passing
of Aunt Rose. Sharyn and I truly appreciate all your kind words and thoughts. Needless to
say, we are both in a state of shock. Our lives for the past four years literally centered
around her care.
After recovering from a broken hip suffered in May, 1998, she required assistance
walking and going to the bathroom. I woke at one this morning believing I heard her
calling out. It was only a dream. But I know that there will be more of that. She died so
quickly Thursday morning, it hardly seems like it happened. Your kind words and notes mean
so very, very much to us. Thank you.
Our friend Bill Belitskus sent this along. It is from The Erie Times-News,
Sunday, February 6, 2000, Page 2B Commentary. I think he wanted me to see what a real
newspaper does with its space and time, versus what our sad excuse for a newspaper does
with its.
Slocum Should Resign
Apparently, we Pennsylvanians should be grateful. Harrisburg bends over backwards to be
fair and open in the matter of Pa. Sen. William L. Slocum, R-Warren.Late last week, the
news from the Capitol was, according to the Associated Press: "A resolution calling
for the censure of a lawmaker who pleaded guilty to negligently polluting a Warren County
stream...will be discussed in public, the chairman of a Senate ethics panel announced.
...An initial meeting on the fate of Sen. William Slocum, R-Warren, is scheduled to take
place [this] Tuesday, said Sen. David J. Brightbill, R-Lebanon, chairman of the Committee
on Ethics. ...
His announcement that the committee would discuss the matter in public came after
Slocum requested that the meetings be opened. ...Slocum said he wanted the meeting public
'so that the citizens of the Commonwealth, particularly the residents of the 25th
District, are able to follow each and every step' of the proceeding. The Senate committee
is normally charged with investigating allegations...behind closed doors," which is
how politicians like cooperate.
Senators Slocum and Brightbill have thrown the public a bone. They seem to expect
gratitude for their concern for us. They have nothing to hide.
In fact, they show contempt for the public.
Slocum recently pled guilty in U.S. District Court in Erie, to
discharging pollutants into Brokenstraw Creek. (He did so when he was borough foreman at
the Youngsville Sewage Treatment Plant, and as borough manager.) His guilty plea to six
federal misdemeanors means that he avoids a trial risking conviction on federal felony
charges. It also allows him to concentrate on his re-election campaign.
However, the possible penalty for the misdemeanor charges here is a
mandatory minimum fine of $2,500 and a maximum fine of $100,000 for each count. And a year
of imprisonment for each count, in other words for six years. This is a serious legal
matter.
Serious as a legal matter. Even more serious to the public because:
-The charges cover 12 years, involving the discharge of 3.5 million
gallons of raw sewage and sludge into the Allegheny Watershed.
In other words, this was not the case of a surprised "Whoops! Pressed the wrong
button!" This was persistent defiance of the law.
-According to Slocum's federal prosecutors, Slocum ignored the
Department of Environmental Protection's warnings and "repeated" employee
protests about the pollution. In other words, Slocum coolly decided to defy environmental
rules.
-Slocum's excuse was that he wanted to save the taxpayers' money.
Nonsense: The sum saved was small, funds for sewage treatment had been allocated, and
the preservation of our environment is worth paying for. As a state senator, Slocum wants
to pass laws; but as a minor official, he wanted to ignore those he found inconvenient.
- When the charges against Slocum came to the public's attention, he
consistently denied dong anything wrong. Then he pleads guilty. In other words, he lied.
-Even now he dismisses his offense as "negligence," when the evidence of 12
years means that he knew what he was doing. His use of this word shows how he seeks to
weasel out of blame; he pled guilty to being "criminally negligent." (Of course,
Pennsylvania Democrats rejoice at all this. They have made it a point to put Slocum's plea
on the Internet at: http://www.pasenate.com/PressReleases/slocumplea.htm.
.
Of greatest interest is the "factual basis for the plea" rather than the
lawyers' dance which precedes it.) Slocum has one way to redeem himself: He should
resign.If he does not, we urge the GOP to find a better candidate. If they lack the
courage to do so, then voters of his district should reject someone who demonstrates such
contempt for them. Sludge Slocum should not return to Harrisburg.
See! Other responsible publications like The Mountain Laurel Review
believe the same thing! Sludge King! Resign now!
Comments are welcome at rdhedbud@penn.com.
FEBRUARY 7, 2K
I would like to thank everyone who took the time to e-mail their condolences to my
family for the loss of our Aunt Rose. I will comment more on her, the life she lived, and
the callousness of certain organizations and individuals in the media that would not allow
my family the peace and privacy it deserved even in something like a death in the
immediate family. They have not heard the last of this and I will inform you of what
happened and the actions my family is and will be taking.
Grading Bradford BY TOM CLARK
It's report card time in the Bradford School District, so what better
time than now to grade our city on what it has to offer. This will be
highly unscientific and biased towards what Bradford does for me.
There are some factors, such as our school system, that I can't comment on, since I
have no direct connection to them. However, for the most part, this report card will be a
reflection of what life is like for a single guy in his early forties, living in B-town.
I'm winging this, so it may get ugly:
City Services - B... I'm quite impressed with the physical operation
of both the Bradford Public Works department and the Bradford City Water Authority. Snow
removal and street maintenance are superior. The boys at the Water Authority are on the
ball, constantly fixing our antiquated water system that seems to spring leaks regularly.
Hats off to these guys!
City Government - D... More of the same old, same old. Until they get over their
infatuation with the OECD and realize that it's not doing
squat to help our city, Bradford will remain in the economic rut it has
been mired in for the last twenty years. Quit pumping megabucks into
this worthless cause of creating empty warehouses and start spending the money to rebuild
our town.
Goods & Services - F...A third-class mall, very few specialty stores
and a limited choice of essentials gives B-town a black eye. I spend
more money in Olean than Bradford and an equal amount in Buffalo. Need a major purchase?
You won't find it here. This grade will probably come up to a D once Parkview is
re-opened.
Technology - D...This may be unfair, since Bradford is a small town and isn't afforded
the amenities of urban areas. We have the choice of three poor Internet Service Providers,
unless one pays for a regional calling plan to connect with AOL or another major carrier
in State College. There is a scant amount of computer services available in Bradford and,
once again, one would have to go to Olean or Buffalo to find a viable computer store.
Entertainment - D...We are saddled with a sorry cable company that
offers a limited selection. The nightlife is boring and our choices of
dining out are substandard. Fortunately, UPB brings in quality
entertainment once in a while and Rock'n Rick's Concert Club offers
national acts. Other than that, Bradford boasts Kiwanis Kapers, a
local "talent" show that rivals the revues that the stranded castaways
on "Gilligan's Island" used to stage for their own amusement. This
grade will go up in the summertime when Rock'n Rick's opens their
amphitheater. What would really give this town an entertainment boost would be a strip
club on Main Street (just kidding!).
Location - A-...If we were Emporium or some other outpost, this grade would be much
lower. We have the benefit of U.S. 219 and direct access to a major city. We are also
gifted to have the Allegheny National Forest and Reservoir and Allegany State Park within
easy reach. I'm a four seasons kind of guy, so the weather here, for me at least, is more
than favorable.
Camaraderie - B-...You've probably never seen this subject on a report card before, but
it is an essential factor for small town living.
Generally, the people here are very friendly and will do most anything
to help out their neighbors. Unfortunately, most people are so bored
around here that their only excitement is to stir up rumors about their
fellow citizens. It's tough to mind one's own business in a small town,
but it's something that I would like to see more of.
Quality Of Life - B-...Factoring in all of the above and many other
aspects of life in Bradford, I'd have to say that it is a pretty good
place to live. A very low crime rate, fair to good health care and
decent employment opportunities help this grade.
The lack of transportation, namely a lousy airport offering poor
commercial air service and the lack of rail service puts a damper on
our way of life here. I guess I could go forever about this or that and
how it affects life in general in B-town.
Some things could be improved with the right leadership, while others
will remain a constant. That's the beauty of being a Bradfordian, we
always seem to adapt to the situation at hand. Well, that's enough for
now, I have to go to Olean to pick up a few things. Til next week...
FEBRUARY 5 & 6, 2K
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