The Publisher's Page BY HAROLD T. BECK

SEPTEMBER 9 - SEPTEMBER 15, 2000

SEPTEMBER 15, 2K

Differing opinions

Good morning. It is 50.4 degrees at 5:52 A.M. This house was up early this morning. Today is Sharyn's last day at Bradford Regional Medical Center. She has been there for ten years and she leaves with mixed emotions. More about that later.

Yesterday's collection of your material produced quite a response. All but one was positive. The author of the Safesex letter responded after I informed her/him that I publisher her/his letter in its entirety, complete with spelling errors. She/he responded:

Feel free to print what you want.  This was meant for you an no one else, but if you feel the need to publish it then so be it.  As for the spelling errors I didn't think you were going to publish it, but I'm sure you will try
to use this to your advantage.  As far as I'm concerned the shoe fits so wear it.  PS I don't care if you do know who I am....Good day.

I noted that spell check was used for the response. And my shoes fit fine. I am happy with old shoes - don't really need any new ones, but you know me - I'm a gamer.

And then at almost the same time another interesting e-mail arrived. It kind of sums it all up simply, succinctly, and surreptitiously. 

Isn't it funny how you and your paper can be hated so much and also read so thoroughly by the same people. Keep up to good work. I'll let them know at the hotel that you will be back

True. Oh so very, very true. And thanks. I haven't been down to the hotel for awhile. I will have to change that next week. I will get down there once I round up a "DD."

Anyway, today is Sharyn's last day at the hospital - and not necessarily the one that Doctor Safesex works at either. (Gosh! I thought that was over, but I guess it isn't. People have no sense of humor!!) But be that as it may, while Sharyn worked at the hospital, I did in a way too. I did because Sharyn and I share our lives - hence I have no need of an airhead nurse to share things with. So as she leaves, so do I.

She has been there for ten years and has worked for two bosses in that time - Scott and Ron, both good guys. Her co-workers became our friends - Chris and Joan. We shared our lives - ups and downs, victories and defeats, sicknesses, births, deaths, and on and on. I would live the day at the hospital each evening - sometimes when I didn't want to and had my own problems.

Like in all organizations, they did good things and they did stupid things. There was the massive "redesign" that cost a whole lot of money and really did nothing but displace some people, change titles of others, and in the end, left things pretty much as they were.

There were people I respected: Bob Fisher. And then there were people I didn't respect: George Leonhardt. 

I always admired Bob Fisher for the way he was able to keep the hospital going financially. He was and is the best man for the job in a time when medical facilities are in a monetary pinch. He actively found the money to keep the doors open. I went after money much like that when I was in Smethport and I modeled it after him.

George is another story and I even wrote it, twice. He stepped out of his role as president when he became the flunky for the Bradford Area Alliance and went after Candy Bush. I listened to him on tape at the hospital doing the bidding for Dick McDowell and Mike Shuler. I was disappointed in him.

Oh, I am sure you will say that he did the right thing now that she has been charged with embezzling money from the Chamber of Commerce, but based on the way things are done around here and how selectively the justice system picks and chooses who it will and will not prosecute, I have an open mind on that. Embezzling could easily be reimbursement for actual expenses paid out of pocket.

But that is part of being and working in a large organization like the hospital. Stuff happens.

We woke early this morning because Sharyn is anxious. Her last day of work and tomorrow we start what she imagined a year ago.

Contrary to the the rumors around town, she has not retired, the Rainbow Inn is not up for sale, and we are not leaving the area. We have two children living here, one grandchild, one about to be born any day, and another on the way. Even if I wanted to, I couldn't get her out of here with dynamite. 

Sharyn is actively going to take over www.antiqueavenue.com. Along with that she will begin managing the new store http://mlrmag.com/store.  that is going to be attached to this web site. And then there is the job of keeping me focused on my writing.

Because of her, and only because of her, we will publish the non-fiction book, Ripe for the Picking - the story of the Kathy Wilson murder and trial of Jay William Buckley. And there are other projects and she will see to it that they are completed. Just like Rocky Balboa, I need a manager and she is the best I could ever ask for. The hospital's loss is my gain.

The person who wrote the words yesterday: "Your wife should be ashamed of you as well....." could not have missed the mark any more that they did. I asked her and she said no. In fact, she said that: "I have no more control over what you do than what Doctor Safesex's wife had." So there.

And likewise, I am not nor have I ever been ashamed of my wife. I have always had the greatest respect for her and the work she did at the hospital even though many times she believed that she was not up to the job. Nothing could have been farther from the truth! 

All those winters she drove the hill in storm after storm just to get to work on time. All those mornings she didn't feel like getting out of bed. All of those are over and a new episode begins. What a lucky man I am to have a woman, a wife, a friend, and now a business partner like Sharyn.

Your comments are welcome at editor@mlrmag.com. 

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SEPTEMBER 14, 2K

Your stuff

Good morning. It is 49.5 degrees at 6:37 A.M. I am going to take some of your mail and use it today. 

I received this from my daughter.  This was written by a teen in Bagdad, Arizona. I had to pass this along

 

 Now I sit me down in school
 Where praying is against the rule
 For this great nation under God
 Finds mention of Him very odd.
 If Scripture now the class recites,
 It violates the Bill of Rights.
 And anytime my head I bow
 Becomes a Federal matter now.
 Our hair can be purple, orange or green,
 That's no offense; it's a freedom scene.
 The law is specific, the law is precise.
 Prayers spoken aloud are a serious vice.
 For praying in a public hall
 Might offend someone with no faith at all.
 In silence alone we must meditate,
 God's name is prohibited by the state.
 We're allowed to cuss and dress like freaks,
 And pierce our noses, tongues and cheeks.
 They've outlawed guns, but FIRST the Bible.
 To quote the Good Book makes me liable.
 We can elect a pregnant Senior Queen,
 And the 'unwed daddy,' our Senior King.
 It's "inappropriate" to teach right from wrong,
 We're taught that such "judgments" do not belong.
 We can get our condoms and birth controls,
 Study witchcraft, vampires and totem poles.
 But the Ten Commandments are not allowed,
 It's scary here I must confess,
 When chaos reigns the school's a mess.
 So, Lord, this silent plea I make:
 Should I be shot; My soul please take! Amen 

Dear Bud,

How can you say that the Board narrowly voting in a Band Director is a
step backward?   After all, after the scandals from way back in the
early 90's, it is about time that they finally take a while to consider
pushing someone into place to make the almighty Bradford High Band a
force to be reckoned with.  In reality, they put a replacement in after
the first scandal and look what happened.

The replacement did the same thing and the Band was the laughing stock
of all the music festivals each Fall.  Kids were teased and labels
applied every time they went to represent the High School at a
competition.  Perhaps the Board wants to make certain that after having
no scandals for the last several years they have looked at everything
and have chosen the best candidate to continue the tradition of putting
someone in place who can continue the damage  of  what should have been the best years of some children's lives.  It is a tradition of sex and
lust in the band room with a few music notes thrown in here and there.
The band must live up to its old image!  Hopefully, this candidate can
fill the shoes and put that sex and lust ahead of any education, just
like those earlier leaders.

Hey, wasn't Commissioner Weaver's daughter a drum major during the first scandal????????  You might want to ask him if the Board did a good
job.......

P.S.  Hats off to the MLR.  You, at least, keep archives.  I looked at
the Bradford Era Online and they won't archive their articles.  They
tell you to go to the Public Library.  (so that way they can make the
taxpayers fund storing their columns?).  They asked for comments on how
to improve their site, but I can't be bothered.

Bud,

 

I tried putting this on Joe's  "Talk About Bradford" but was unable to open his site.

 

Man, Bradford really sucks.

 

OK! Now that pisses me off!

Why in the HELL would the City of Bradford go to anybody but Joe Warner for a web site?  He has been cyber-sitting Bradford for the better part of six years.

What's the story, Joe?  The SCHMUCKS don't even have a hint of a link to your site.

I think you should leave that sinking place (no T intended) and relocate to Phoenix.

I have been told that Zippo has all of their warehouse space filled with non-committed inventory and they are permanently laying off all personnel hired after 1991. After decades of self indulgence by maintaining a strangle hold on Bradford's labor force they have decided to reward the city with an ever-growing unemployment rate.

 

Three cheers for the Bradford Area Alliance!

 

Come to Phoenix Joe.  Bradford just hired another fireman and  is planning  to start his pay at (about?) $26K a year.

 Why the *about*?

 

Who cares? 

 

That is just a little more than I make as a VDSL cable tech, in three months that is.

 

Hack their page and get the hell out of there. 

 

See you in sunny Phoenix Joe.

 

Bernie

And then we had one from someone who didn't like me too much. Is it a family member, maybe? Anyway, I refuse to correct spelling for someone ho doesn't like me. Also, the Doctor Safesex article ran the week before Easter and was published in the Summer issue of the MLR - out in early July. Why now? 

Mr. Beck,
    After reading your article Dr. Safesex I am implored to write.  I have to
say that you are a pompous arrogant idiot.  I believe in the 1st ammendment and freedom of the press but your bashing for personal means is offensive. They should outlaw individuals as yourself and banish rags such as yours. You are no better than the Enquirer, Star etc.  It is ok to state your opinions but to try and malign individuals for your own personal gain because you don't like the individual is unacceptable. 

You state how Dr. Safesex is a pompous arrogant individual, well you should be looking in the mirror!  Everyone and I mean everyone makes errors in thier personal lives, you included I am sure.  You make yourself out to be a boyscout which you are not!   You are a jerk sir!

Maybe as stated in the article the individual did make an error but that
gives you no right to air your opinions in public like this.  I am not
condoning the individual actions because if true they are wrong.  But let me say you don't know what your speaking of.  You make it sound as he is the only one at fault here but you are far from the truth.  These young ladies now exactly what they are doing and are just as much at fault as the Dr. Last time I knew it took two people to have consentual sex or has it been so long for you that you have forgotten.  I'm sure it not because obviously you have the perfect marriage.  

As to attacking the individual professionally how dare you.  You are not
qualified to do this.  I have seen this individual many times and I can say
he is not incompetant as you state.  Yes, mistakes do happen but it happens everywhere because I have seen other hospitals and individuals make mistakes before.  This is a regretable and unfortunate thing.  But they keep on trying to learn from thier experiences.  Also bad outcomes occur and complications arise for a number of reasons.  There is nothing in medicine that isn't risk free but health care professionals do thier best to prevent them from happening.  

As far as I am concerned you have no right to be criticizing anyone because frankly you aren't qualified or smart enough to know better.  
Again I am not defending this individual.  He has his faults and I have no
great love for this individual either but you had no right.  

The other thing I would like to point out since your such a morally
outstanding citizen.  Think about this individuals family.  What about them? Oh!  I'm sure your going to say that he should have thought about it before he did whatever.  Well what about your responsibility?  I'm sure that doesn't matter to you because your vendetta is much more important.  HOGWASH!   You sir are no better that Dr. Safesex!  You put your desires before everyone else.  You have shown this a number of times with the piece of trash that you write. You should be ashamed of yourself but one without any conscious will not be effected I am sure.  Your wife should be ashamed of you as well.  Good day sir

Keep in mind, Doctor Safesex is a fictional character in my Bradford Hotel stories. No doctor, no nurse, or even a hospital was identified in the story. As far as readers are concerned, it is just one of my many ramblings. However, if current events resemble fiction, then who is to say? And now that the DNA test proved negative on the chair, whew!

Reports of brawls and attacks in K-Mart have reached my desk. Nothing has been substantiated and no sequel is planned - perhaps Mrs. Safesex runs amok! 

I asked my wife this morning. She isn't ashamed of me and she still likes me, too. Too bad you feel that way but Doctor Safesex is a jerk and of course it takes two. Generally it take three. If he got what he needed at home then he wouldn't need a nurse or two or three or .............

Comments are welcome at editor@mlrmag.com 

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SEPTEMBER 13, 2K

What a world! What a world! 

Good morning. It is 46.4 degrees at 6:27 A.M. and one of those colds is taking over. Just what I need. To make things worse, my fingers aren’t working all that well either.  And if that isn’t bad enough, I had to listen about the commissioners all day yesterday. As if I care! 

If one Bradford Error was shoved in my face, six were, and that was the last thing I wanted to see right after the Court House. I was out promoting my Antique Avenue and getting new dealers to sign up. But even they wanted to talk about it. Finally by three, I had enough. 

“Look,” I said, taking The Error out of the hand of the man I was talking to. “Have you ever looked at the news in this thing? It says something about us and who we are. Look,” I said. 

And then I started going through the paper. 

“Think of how stupid we must sound to someone who has come to Bradford for the very first time.” I was careful not to say on business, because why would anyone come here to do business? 

“Second judge voted down,” I read. It was the lead headline on the paper. 

“Without even reading the story, what does that tell you?” 

“The headline kind of speaks for itself,” the man I was talking to answered. 

“Correct,” I said. “But guess what else? It says we are backward and are not keeping up with the times. Of course it boils down to money and it is the job of government to find the money. Government didn’t do it. But bear with me. Look at this.” 

“Board narrowly approves new band director,” I read next. 

“What’s the big deal about the band director?” I asked. “A band director and a 3 –2 vote! Are they serious? And the paper referred to it as a “narrow and controversial vote.” How can there be a controversy over a band director? And that was with four of the board members not even attending the meeting and voting. That says a whole lot about us and especially about the School Board.” 

I stayed on the front page. 

“Wal-Mart discussion continues,” I read aloud. “And look at this. Here is Jim Weaver, a county commissioner, saying he is there with his “citizen’s hat.” What kind of foolishness is that? A county commissioner is a county commissioner. If he doesn’t want to be a county commissioner all the time, he should get out. Here he is on the front page of the paper opposing development and opposing new jobs for our area and he is the minority democrat in office. While that says very little about him as a leader, it also says a whole lot less about us as voters. But Weaver is a liar,” I said.  

“He lied about raising taxes. That’s on the record. And he lied about wanting new jobs. He said that out at Pitt when we had the meet the candidates night. He said that to get elected. That was what he cared about. Himself and himself only. His opposition to Wal-Mart proves that.” I opened the paper. 

“Commissioners to delay repairing courthouse steps.” I shook my head. I laughed. “No one bid on them! No one would bid. Maybe everyone figured that Al had a buddy he would give the job to anyway and what was the use.” I went on. 

“Bradford Township: ‘We’re getting hundred-year storms every six months.’ Now that’s an intelligent headline. If you are getting them every six months, then they are six month storms, not hundred year storms. The township supervisors sound like some real rocket scientists saying that.” I just laughed.  

I went on to show on the same page The Error was selling laminated keepsake obituaries. “Now that is what I want. I can laminate Aunt Rose’s obituary and attach it to my key ring. They even take Visa and Mastercard. How convenient.”  

The man I was talking to just stood there holding his mouth open. 

“Gee, Bud. I’m sorry I brought it up. I just wanted to offer some conversation and offer to buy you a beer. I’m sorry I said anything.” 

I accepted his apology. “I’ll take the beer,” I said. 

“Forget it,” he told me. “You’re too hyper for me. You will start a fight for sure. I don’t need that. I’ll see you later.” 

And that is the way things go. The Error is still out there causing me problems even after I am out of the news. I hate that rag.   

By the way, a friend of mine from Austin, Texas, Wally sent this along to me.

Robert E.L. (Bob)Looney One of Texas' most colorful lawyers,
Robert E.L. (Bob) Looney, 75, died in San Antonio on Friday, September 8, 2000. He was retired and had suffered from heart
ailments for several years. Looney's father, the prestigious Everett
Looney, was president of the State Bar of Texas and also a well
known barrister in this and other states. Born in Ennis, Bob
Looney lived in Austin with his parents and one sister, Mary Jo,
when he was a child. He attended Culver Military School in
Missouri and Stephen F. Austin High School. He was first in his
class at Baylor University's School of Law from which he graduated
after service in World War II. He immediately began practicing with
his father's law firm, leaving it to enter his own general law practice,
later going to Houston for a time. However, he had lived and
practiced predominently criminal law in Austin for some forty years.
Many people remember him as one of the state's most flambouyant
trial lawyers. Young lawyers and other persons were said to attend
trials in which he was defense attorney just to hear his colorful
language and see his dramatic antics. His entire life was The Law.
He fiercely defended it and was intensely patriotic. He called
himself ``The Lone Wolf'', because many times his unique practice
of law set him apart and at odds with other persons, including
judges, in the courtrooms of the state. Associates often said of
Looney's law stance:

``He was tough, but noble and he gave no quarter.'' Friends
recall his staunch loyalty, and remember he often quoted his father's
definition of a friend ``as one who would stay in the river with you
when the waters were high''. If he had a hobby it would have been
composing songs and poetry, mostly of a religious/patriotic
nature. Some of them were recorded or taped. His patriotism, like
his law life, reached zealous and ardent heights. Looney received his
Navy Ensign's rank after graduation from the naval ROTC unit on
The University of Texas campus. From there he went directly to
the Pacific Theater of War where he was stationed on a
weapons carrier and participated in action against the Japanese War Machine.

His clients were legends, among them such famous prisoners as
David R. Ruiz, a nationally known jailhouse lawyer, writ writer,
who worked as a legal aid to Looney when Ruiz was on parole in
Austin. Ruiz is in a Huntsville prison at the present time.

Looney's survivors include his wife, Paula M.Looney; sister, Mary
Jo Cooper and husband Cecil of Georgetown; son, Everett M. Looney of Austin; daughters, Chris Lewellen of San Antonio, Shannon Berkley Williams of Austin, Lindy Cardenas of San Antonio, Cathleen Marton and husband Keith, and Caroline Beaty and husband John, all of Houston; step daughter, Kathryn Seewald of Colorado Springs; sister, Pat Hartman and husband Ken, of La Vale, Maryland; three grandsons, and two
granddaughters. Special friends and relatives include Raul Cardenas, Rev. Gus Lyons, Sally and Lloyd M. Barber, Jan McGill, Mary Mae
Hartley, Lisa Gustafson, Charlie Nohra, Helen Nohra, Larry Dowling,
Ben McDonald, Cathy and Christie Abercrombie, and doggies, Rob Roy, Emily and Chester. Family will receive friends 6:00 to 8:00 p.m., Monday, at the funeral home. Funeral service will be held 10:00 a.m., Tuesday, September 12, 2000, at Weed-Corley-Fish Funeral Home, followed by burial in Capital Memorial Park. Pallbearers will be Charles Nohra, Larry Dowling, Lloyd Barber, Ben McDonald, Keith Marton, Raul Cardenas, John Joseph, Cecil Cooper, John Beaty and Gus Lyons.
Arrangements by Weed-Corley-Fish Funeral Home, 3125 N. Lamar, 452-8811.

Bob Looney was my friend, drinking buddy, and my lawyer from time to time. He was a mentor and a fine man. The worst thing that ever happened to him was when new wife, Paula, made him stop drinking. His memory went. He needed the booze. He will be missed.   

Comments are welcome at editor@mlrmag.com.

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SEPTEMBER 12, 2K

Surprise, surprise! 

Good morning. It is 65.3 degrees at 6:35 A.M. The gentle rain and the mild night let me sleep very well. I could get into sleeping later very easy. 

Borrowing from Gomer Pyle, USMC, were you surprised that the commissioners voted unanimously against a second judge? I wasn’t. 

I wasn’t because there was no way to justify it financially. I got a laugh out of the article in The Error when they referred to Dave Miller of Kane as Dennis Miller. While both are comedians – Dennis on television and Dave as Judge Cleland’s personal sage and poet laureate, Dennis doesn’t have a clue about the McKean County Court System. Dave, of course, does. 

Personally, I enjoy Dave Miller. He is a very intelligent man and pretty down to earth once you get him out of the day to day politics of the court. He does counseling for DUI rehabilitation and the people I have known who were compelled to see him have always spoken highly of him. 

I guess it was Jim Weaver, McKean County’s version of Mr. Bluster, who recalled the report we paid Jim Miller an enormous amount of money to prepare. That was early in our administration when, at the urging of Judge Cleland, he and we wanted to redesign the Judicial System. We had meetings, had periodical reports, had more meetings, and had more reports. Finally, we had the finished product. Dave Miller boiled it all down to a sentence which was offensive even to hard core old birds like me and Mr. Bluster: 

“This is nothing more than a pissing contest with both sides having a lot of ammunition.” 

I think I was offended that after spending over $20,000 to have Judge Cleland’s man write a report that I believed would produce change, it all came down to “a pissing contest” between the commissioners and the courts, and he had the nerve to put it in writing.  

But in a way the report was ahead of its time and right on the mark. 

Mr. Bluster also referred to the report and Miller as being a cheerleader for hiring Dennis Luther, a former warden at the Federal Correctional Institution, McKean County. The capacity in which Luther was conceived was as an un-elected County Executive that had supreme power over the commissioners but not the Judge. I am sure, once the nuts and bolts were hammered out, Luther would report to Judge Cleland and the commissioners would become figure heads passing the dictates of the court. 

I would never agree with that and neither does the Pennsylvania Constitution – something our judge has probably not read. However, he did have an idea that was not only proper but also quite legal. That would of course be Home Rule. 

Home rule calls for an elected County Executive and an elected County Council, all of which would vote for taxes and legislative matters. Home Rule gives the county the right to pass some of its own taxes and is much, much more democratic than the situation we are currently living under. 

While Weaver and Stratton secretly conspired to raise taxes and called me a liar when I pointed out what they planned to do before the election, people blindly voted for them assuming that they were telling the truth and I was the liar. Now that the truth is out and our taxes skyrocketed, the voters are stuck. There is nothing they can do until the spring of 2003. 

However, if we were under a Home Rule form of government, only the County Executive would have a four year term. The Council would serve two year terms like our State Representatives and our Congressman. We would be looking at voting those liars out of office next year. And that is what we currently don’t have – accountability. 

There is no legal way to make Weaver and Stratton accountable for the lies they told just to get elected. They will raise taxes again and again and they will allow our property values to fall into ruin and force another expensive reassessment around 2005. Our millage will be cut in half and then it will start all over. And that does not take into consideration the second judge. 

While under the current system the imagined costs of a second judge are in the area of $400,000 annually with the state throwing in $70,000 to defray the cost, the real cost is space. 

Space is something McKean County does not have. 

Our Court House is old and not very efficient. We have a basement that floods and is generally unusable for anything but storage. Warren County uses its basement for tax assessment and has an annex besides. They have the room for a second judge where we do not. The space opened up by the moving of CYS will be usurped by the Court for Probation and Domestic Relations. There is no room for a second Judge unless a desk is placed in Judge Cleland’s  chambers and they share a secretary. And that will never happen. 

When the commissioners charge the commission to explore the second judge they missed the mark. They took my proposal and left out the key part and that was “finding the proper economies.” 

They, like me, know we need a second judge. We can have one we elect or we can have the visiting judges like we currently have. But as long as we have Debbie Babcox and Sever Minor as law masters and Judge Cleland unwilling to give them up and assign that area to a second Judge, we cannot justify changing anything. The budget I wrote in the final days of office called for their substantial reduction with the current Judge picking up the slack, something he is paid to do. The complete elimination of them would open up the office space and give the commissioners the money to afford it. But that is not what they tried to do. What a shame. 

The second judge could have become a reality had someone had a brain and approached this as a business decision. That wasn’t done. Dick Mutzabaugh and his cronies felt I was the obstacle to the second Judge and that my proposal was election year rhetoric. It wasn’t and I did have a plan on how to effect it. I can only wonder what he is thinking today. 

Perhaps instead of changing the name of Bradford to Oz, we should change the name of the entire county. We have all the characters and we are just as humorous. No change and higher taxes is the McKean County way. Take a deep breath and tell yourself another lie about what a great way of life we have here in Oz. 

Your comments are welcome at editor@mlrmag.com.

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SEPTEMBER 11, 2K

John's dilemma

Good morning. It is 64.0 degrees at 7:03 A.M. I slept late this morning because I was up in the middle of the night tending to one of my other websites. We've become quite an internet business these days.

Poor John Satterwhite, Publisher, and soon to be part owner again of The Bradford Error. 

It seems that The Error, like most publications, has a problem keeping reporters and writers. The men they have hired in the past have had much more talented and successful wives and so when the wife gets a better job they move along with her. Then The Error is forced to go back to square one, find another man who has a young talented wife and start training him all over and hope against hope she doesn't get promoted out of the area too soon. That was evidenced by the ad that they ran on Friday.

"Okay. So we don't pay a lot," it more or less started. That, I was told, blew John's mind.

Marty Robacker Wilder's shot at humor wasn't funny to Mr. John Satterwhite. He didn't like the world knowing how cheap he really was. He especially didn't like his managing editor admitting it either. 

So, seeing how John and I did work successfully side by side on the Airport Authority for three years, I want to help him out and let bygones be bygones. I am a big man and can over look all those cheap shots and dirty things they pulled on me. I want to share my pool of available writers and help him out. I got this letter in my morning mail applying for a job. I would be glad to send the lady John's way.

Dear Mr. Beck:

My name is Miss Pritchard and I am a schoolmarm. For those generation-X readers of yours, that is a teacher. My years go WAY back to when discipline was part of a school. Although I haven't used my paddle and dunce cap in quite a while, I am appalled that the vision of our youth has been muddied with a culture of disdain and misalignment. In other words, their world SUCKS!

It is my hope that you might share your Publisher's Page with some thoughts on what we can do to get our youth seen in a positive light. Perhaps it will give some of those less fortunate mother's children that you refer to as welfare mutants a place to be heard and seen. If your town is so full of them then why not feature them and give them some tips on how to be cultured and educated. 

I feel that I can make a difference in their lives by talking about the many ways that they can make an impact on their town rather than using restroom facilities in the Public Park (in other words, stop peeing on the gazebo). If you would publish some of my tips every now and then, your magazine would take on a new breed of readers. Maybe even some who would stop having to be seen by Judge Cleland and that would lighten his case load so that the taxes would not have to be raised to add more judges.

Besides, Mr. Beck, I see that you want balance in your publication. After all, you have three male writers and only two female writers. If you don't want to be seen as chauvinistic, then you would certainly consider adding one more intelligent female to your staff. You represent politicians, beer-drinkers, mothers, Native Americans, and even queer fairies (it is my understanding that Glinda's L. Frank wore tights) but nowhere have you represented us educators.

After all, we are the underpaid. We are the snot-wipers. We are the ones who teach the Math so people can understand millage. We are the ones who have bladder cancer (and asbestos in our lungs). Give us a voice Mr. Beck!

Sincerely yours,

Miss Pritchard

P.S. If you promise to occasionally feature me, I promise to avail myself to Mr. Tom Clark. I understand that he needs a date every now and then. Does he like ruby red lipstick?

If you want to get in contact with her, e-mail me John at: publisher@mlrmag.com. 

Oh. And by the way, John. I was told that sex was good for patients recovering from that and stair climbers and stair climbing was good too. You don't have to worry - about that, anyway.

The rest of you can also contact me at editor@mlrmag.com. John gets the special address. After all, we both are publishers.

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SEPTEMBER 9 & 10, 2K

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